Portland, je t'aime

As I sit here back in la France, jet-lagged and wide awake at the ungodly hour of 3:30 a.m., I can't help but wish that I could have opened the Sky Mall catalog on the plane and ordered a Star Trek teleportation machine from Hammacher Schlemmer to easily whisk myself back and forth between the two places where my heart lies. Were a teleportation machine, of course, to be offered alongside The Always Accurate Solar Watch or Steering Wheel Bluetooth Speakerphone.

As many of have probably experienced, vacations can sometimes turn into a hectic mess of busy schedules and short tempers, but this was probably the most wonderful and relaxing vacation I have had in a LONG time. Two weeks of back-to-back morning coffees, lunches, afternoon coffees, cocktails and dinners with every person I could possibly want to see! I stayed with my bestest friend Rob and his funny-as-hell boyfriend Brent and enjoyed almost spa-like hospitality. Fresh towels and hotel-sized Aveda shampoos, great home-cooked meals when I wasn't eating out, and even the power over the remote control!

My first stop after getting off the plane at 5pm was straight to get my cut & color from the awesome Mimi at Villa Villa Kula - half the price of what I pay in Paris and double the goodness! Even though it's only been 18 months since I have driven in the U.S. - I was like Mrs. Brady, Old Lady behind the wheel of my sh*tty, sh*tty rental car (when I was choosing it from the lot, I mis-read it as "Hybrid Accord", not "Huyndai Accent"), so, yeah, big difference. In France we don't have "right on red" and people generally don't make sudden moves, so having cars seemingly flying out at me from all directions was disconcerting and leaving Mimi at about 8pm to go to Rob & Brent's was truly headache-inspiring.

My biggest surprise about being back in the Rose City was how sophisticated it has seemed to become in the two years since I was last there. I (heart) Portland, always have thought it was cool & hip and hated the slagging off it seems to get for no good reason. "Portland sucks". "Big city wannabe". "Lumberjack-attired losers", whatever, talk to the hand. However, I was really expecting to be "shocked" by chubby people walking around in sweatpants and flip flops, Super Big Gulp in hand - my typical U.S. memory - but, dang! - people looked great! And while I am sure businesses have come and gone because of the recession, there were so many new businesses and restaurants.

The next few days were filled with all the American things I missed. Even landing in the U.S. at my Salt Lake City connection had me nearly skipping down the concourse like Dorothy. What's that smell...? Cinnabon! What are Jon & Kate up to this week? Let's find out in the National
Enquirer! Why yes, I WOULD like whip cream on my Frappuccino! In Portland, it was the joys of shopping past 7pm, seeing movies in English ("Not you, fat Jesus") and browsing bookstores with English books, all set to the tune of the American diet of bacon cheeseburgers and pizza that gave me a nice, five-pound souvenier (on my ass) to take home. My motto was "eat like no one (i.e. Patrice) was watching", although I have to say I am regretting that "Supersize Me" tour-de-force just a teeny bit.

The most fabulous part of this trip was catching up with old and even older friends. Having been on Facebook the last couple of years, I have caught up with people I have not seen in 10, 20 or even 30 years - Adina, Dulcinea, Chloe, Heidi, my awesome 2nd grade teacher Mrs. Robinson (or "Liz" as I am strangely now calling her) & Kathy, as well as my regular PDX buddies - Renee, Laurie, Karen, John & Sally, Eloise & Ryan, Rick & Evelyn, my main Rick (stalker sold separately), Jil and my always-in-the periphery boneyard of former flings and flames. The latter included a nice, long conversation in French to show off my new found supériorité linguistique. Ok, I may be embellishing just a bit, but I was flattered at the compliments on my français nonetheless. I even had coffee with bio-half-sister-on my-birthdad's-side's former sister-in-law. (Does that make any sense? Too complicated to map out here.)

It was wonderful as well to see good old Domestica in action! Of the six employees I have, I have only met four of them so it was great to be back and get to know people. We had a nice golf and lunch day at McMenamins Edgefield and left the day with a promise of a Enchanted Forest 2010 road trip.

Of course, though, all good things must come to an end and before I could say "all you can eat shrimp at Red Lobster", the two weeks had passed and I was on my way home. My suitcase packed to the brim American goodies including cheap contact lens solution (thanks Brent!), green Tabasco sauce, chipotle chiles, Bitch magazine and a wireless computer keyboard presented to my husband with description of "I got this for $20!! At 10pm!! On a Sunday!!" (Three shopping concepts the French just don't have the joy to experience.) I couldn't have asked for a better trip, such great friends and family and also a great reminder of how much I love and miss my life in France.

It's funny how being away can really make you appreciate what you have - and sometimes be a little blindly nostalgic for the things you thought you missed. Taxiing down the runway after arriving in Portland, I couldn't wait to get off that plane to see my friends and coming home, I couldn't wait to get off that train in Vendôme to give my hubby a kiss and a cuddle. THAT is a perfect vacation!