Knockin' on Heaven's Door

Good lord, who knew that having a birthday party in France could be fraught with so many etiquette rules that Emily Post herself might have a head-spin moment.

With the Big 4-0 approaching in a matter of weeks, I have decided to follow the French tradition of throwing my own birthday bash. Just coming off this big wedding, of course, has taken the excitement of organizing even a trip to the grocery store. But 40 only comes once - so why not celebrate, non?

Now, for any of you familiar with the great "serving beer in the wrong glass" debacle at Patrice's 2007 b-day fête that I threw for him, or the near-riotous absence of food other than cake, you can imagine I was going to be hell-bent on doing it "French Style" this time. (For those not in the know, two months after moving to France, I threw a party for Patrice and due too many guests and not enough glasses, I (gasp!) served beer in whatever glass was available - whisky, cocktail, etc. This, coupled with not having appetizers available because the time of day the party was held, resulted in me not... hearing... the... g*d...-d*mned...end...of....it... from Patrice.)

So, who better than a French husband to ask for French etiquette questions, right?

Me: How does 7:00 on Saturday the 15th sound?
Patrice: Not everyone might be able to make it then.
Me: Ok, well if they can't make it, they can't make it.
Patrice: You might want to call everyone and find out who can come.
Me: Well, no time is going to be perfect for everyone. Do you think a Sunday afternoon would be better? How does 3pm on Sunday sound?
Patrice: That's too late for an aperitif.
Me: Well, I am having cake and champagne, not an aperitif. Would I need additional food?
Patrice: If before lunch or before dinner, you would need food.
Me: So is 3pm considered "before dinner"?
Patrice: (Silence)
Me: So what time WOULD be good for the merde Francais so I don't have to hear the complaining? (clearly things are spiraling out of control at this point...)
Patrice: The same time that would be good for the merde Américaine...

And... SCENE!

Sigh.... so stay tuned.... we shall see....